A failure full of success

My second meet as an RWL (Robinson Weightlifting) lifter has come and gone.  The results from this meet weren't as impressive on paper as the results from the beast of the east competition a month ago.  My totals this meet were 67 in the snatch and 101 in the clean and jerk... and I went 3 for 6.  Missed a snatch at 72 and at 75 and I missed my last jerk at 105.  But I'm not upset.  Part of me (a small part) wanted to be upset, but a bigger and maybe more mature (?!) part knew this meet went just fine.  Ellyn and I talked about what we/she/i wanted to do and at Trinity it was 75 and 105. So when I missed 72 and I got off the platform she said "75...?" I said yes, and she said "stick to the plan, right" yup.  Even though I missed it- my attempt was the biggest success.  And the 75 was better than the 72.  In 2 weeks there will be a different result.  75 wont be a problem.

 I don't think i'm doing a good job explaining what I'm trying to with that last paragraph.  Let me start over.  Okay. . . Ellyn often has the team take attempts at weights we are not comfortable with and/or weights we haven't made.  I would say more often than not, for myself, the misses aren't because my body isn't ready to lift the weights, but because my mind isn't ready.  With that said, taking (and sometimes making) attempts during practice when I'm nervous or have anxiety about the weight on the bar puts me in more of a game time feeling.  Learning how to manage, control, channel, ignore, reign in, etc the anxiety or nervousness that comes at meets... but doing it at practice... has paid off for me.  

With snatch I can easily say I've had an extremely small amount of confidence since I've started competing... or even before I officially got into olympic lifting.  It has been hard for me. It has been a pain. I've wanted to be better, but haven't had the knowledge, guidance, or technical know-how to do anything but stay the same.  AH-HA! that is until I moved up to the freezing state of Massachusetts and started working with Ellyn on a daily basis.  I'm not sure I would go as far as saying I enjoy snatching, but I don't dread it like I used to.  Now RDLs are my hated exercise.  :) progress... perhaps?  I think I have flipped a switch in my lifting brain that now accepts snatching as a challenge.  I've got to get better at it- there are no other options.  Here's an example of what kindof goes through my brain when it's time to snatch... How many people have been told by someone- doesn't matter who- that they can't do something or that they won't be good at something...? anyone.. ahh good I see a few hands and head nods.  At the same time this person is saying how you'll never be able to do xyz, you know you can and will do xyz and part of the motivation is going to be able to go back to this person and say "HA! told ya!!" If you tell me I can't or won't do something... I'll prove you wrong and I will take an incredible amount of joy doing what you said was 'impossible'  :)

Alright. I think I explained it more appropriately

Clean and Jerk has been my better/favorite lift since... um forever. I'm strong and I know it and when I didn't have the best technique, I was able to muscle the bar up.  Cool. I'm strong. that's always a good feeling. but there came a time when my brain got in the way of that too.  There seem to be some typical blocks  when it comes to increasing weight... 100 was one for me.  And then until this meet, 105 was another one.  The weight starts to get heavy! Then I start to question how strong I really am and then 2, 3, and 4, more kilos seems like an impossible feat.

Approaching the weight is half (let's be honest... it's a whole lot more than that) the battle.  Having me take and miss (not on purpose) lifts in practice makes me think about what I did wrong and how I can fix it next time.  Sometimes I miss lifts because I'm scared. Sometimes I miss lifts because I'm not focused.  Sometimes I miss lifts because I'm lazy. Sometimes I miss lifts because I'm not committed.  Sometimes I miss lifts because my mind isn't in the moment.  Sometimes I miss lifts because I don't feel confident. Sometimes I miss lifts because I don't feel strong.  Sometimes I miss lifts because my technique needs work.  But if you look at the sentences I wrote about where I miss lifts- it's my head that gets too involved or not involved enough.  Working on, realizing, recognizing, and managing my thoughts at practice leaves one less thing to worry about at meets.  I guess this is another post where I say "Ellyn's right" and something along the lines of "I guess she knows what she's talking about" ;-) I'm in good hands, and so is the rest of RWL.  Ellyn knows what she's doing and is starting to help me know what I'm doing too.  Thanks for all you do Ellyn...

RWL Family <3