Mind Games

What changes from week to week... day to day..? Do my physical abilities vary day to day or is it my mental abilities.  From the readings I've done and conversations I've had with Ellyn the biggest variable in my training is my mental strength/focus/determination.  My body doesn't talk me out of lifts it's my head.  My body knows what to do. I've put in the time with my physical training.  My body is fine.  It's my mind. my feelings. my emotions that need to be trained more.   Saying I need more work in these areas doesn't mean there hasn't been progress with the mental aspect of my lifting.. but it is my weakest part of my package... also something Ellyn and I have been working on since day one.  She loves to tell stories of when I first moved to MA and where I would LITERALLY have hissy-fits on the platform when I missed a lift.. or cry when I would try to RDL with 35k... There are times when I love hearing those stories and times when I absolutely CRINGE when they get told.  But all in all they show progress....

Too bad progress isn't a linear.  Any kind of progress.  There have been good, bad, ugly and near perfect and as far away from perfect practices on the mental front... but more and more often the good and better days appear and stay for longer.

This last practice (the last heavy day before we compete at collegiates) had it's ups and downs... mostly on the mental front... downside: being too focused about NEXT Sunday and worrying about things I 1. have no control over and 2. aren't my job to worry about.  But an upside of the day was being able to put the lack of focus and distractions from the first part of practice behind me and head into the second part of practice with a calmer and more focused inner dialogue.  Ellyn and I had a little pow-wow after the snatches (that didn't go as ideally and I would have liked... Ellyn was fine with them... we were able to learn from them) because I was feeling a whole bunch of negative emotions that typically get carried into the clean and jerks.. Ellyn and I talked about what we can do to get better about leaving behind the snatch "issues" (I say "issues" because there really wasn't anything wrong with them... just didn't make as many as I would have liked) so I asked her if she thought it would be a good idea to write down and "Purge the Negative" from my mind... and I did.  Boy did that piece of notebook paper get full quickly! :)

When I showed Ellyn she said, "Oh! This is easy! You're worrying and trying to do my job."  Here's a little secret that I've had to learn the hard way... slow.  If you let your coach do their job and trust that they will... that means you, as an athlete can do yours! It's so much easier that way!!  But sometimes easy to forget and get wrapped up in wanting to control and be in control of everything... and those thoughts, feelings, and impulses of wanting to be in control of EVERYTHING make lifting heavy weights hard to do.

The biggest success of the day was probably the transition from the snatch to the clean and jerks.  I didn't feel weighed down by my thoughts and feelings from the snatch and I was able to focus on what I was supposed to be doing.  They didn't go perfectly- but it was a big step in the right direction.  My body knows what to do and my body will be fine when Ellyn and I step on the platform next Sunday... my mental strength is growing as well.  My mind will be there on Sunday.  I will be focused.  I will be ready.  Anything she puts on the bar she knows I can do.  Trust.  We're ready....