Here we are... a few quick weeks past University Championships... lots of work still to be done to be ready for Thailand. Ellyn has said to me many times I have all the tools and I need to let myself be ready to lift big weights. She's given me all the cues, the technical work, the strength I'll need to be successful. She's done all that she can and has needed to do for me to be successful.... she's coached me exactly how I've needed to be. And now it's my turn to believe in myself. To see myself be successful. To pay attention to the small things. To be better. To be more confident. To be stronger mentally. To be present. To appreciate the time. To appreciate the process. To enjoy the process and see it as a once in a life time opportunity- and RUN with it. Focus forward and on the next step.
Over the last two weeks Ellyn has given me mental training to do before my physical training. I've been taking a few moments before practice to write, think about, meditate and then regurgitate the training from the words she's given me into words of my own. Phrases that I can make my own. Phrases that resound with me. Phrases I need to remember and focus on. Phrases Ellyn needs me to remember and believe and become second nature. It's a process. Slower for me than probably most :) but that's how I like things... makes it easy for Ellyn too.. I'm easier to keep track of ;)
As the process started I didn't think too much about it... didn't think it would really work or make a difference.. and did it more from a place of it was something I was supposed to do.. As the mental training went on I started to believe in it more... believe in the process and actually feel a difference at practice.... even when i was alone.. the phrases continued to ring in my head and I got excited to get better at the little things.. i got excited for Thailand... I got excited for the days training... I got excited to get better... I got excited to represent my country... I got excited for the chance to fulfill the plans and progress and thoughts and plans and replanning Ellyn and I have gone through the last 4 years. This goal that seemed so distant.. even as I was at Collegiates... doesn't seem like it's real and that all the time, effort, energy, frustration, happiness, success, time and more time and learning about each other and what makes us tick.. and work so well together.. came together. It was a perfect storm.
I keep thinking back to New Mexico and how the meet went... Missing my 3rd snatch.. figuring I was done and out of the running for the title... no shot at anything... then the quick conversation with Ellyn between the two lifts.. her asking me if I can make the jump from 105 to 118 or 121... me telling her.. i'm not sure.. and both of us agreeing that this is what we came for... this is what we've been training for... why come all this way to end up with a PR and no chance of doing anything but coming back to Boston... Let's do this.. let's try... I've always wanted to be the exception... be the one that things were different for.. be the one no one thought would or could do it.. and then BOOM.. do it! I like being the under dog {{roll dawgs}} and coming out of the back and doing the unthinkable... and in New Mexico we did!
My last National meet as a 75 my total was 168(?) so who would expect much more..? ha. I know at least a few people! But then to come out of virtually left field and finish with a 200k total even surprised me. Especially with the shitty... yes shitty... training... aka jerks... I'd been having prior to the meet... When I was competing and I had missed my last snatch I had given up most of my hope... thinking the snatch was my lift... Ha. On the wing and the prayer we'd been praying for the last 4 years... the physical... the mental.. the relationship... all took a turn when we stepped on the platform in New Mexico. We discovered a new us.. still working on what the new us is.. but it felt right... it felt like it was supposed to be.. it felt like we had done it together... it felt story book perfect... the perfect sports movie.... missing my last 2 warmups... cracking my chin on my first two jerks.. blood and sweat and a few tears got us to Thailand... and that will be a whole new level of nerves, excitement, planning, preparation, and training... mentally and physically...
Getting ready... one day at a time.. one box checked off the list.... paying attention to the fundamentals and the small boring steps we need to take to be able to build our mental tool box... to be ready for the next time we'll need a wing and a prayer...
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