no wrinkles

well I'm back (havent you heard that before?!) and getting my life back together and organized and prioritized and not just from a lifting perspective... everything is getting put together (work, blogging, eating, friends etc) in a sense i'm getting rid of the wrinkles.  I've got quite a few wrinkles from the last few weeks, but now I'm taking a serious look at the wrinkles and finally doing something about them.  I guess here on my blog would be a good way to be open and honest about what i've been missing and what I need to change..

the first thing that needs to be addressed is my schedule from this week and last.. monday-friday I was at the Y from 7-9am and 2-6pm and training between the two shifts.  Yes it's a little crazy and intense and fast moving from the y to weights then back to the y after a shower and grabbing a handful of food. but it's manageable- if i have all my stuff together before.  I can run on this hectic schedule if I prepare and get rid of the wrinkles.  now it's out of necessity rather than my own motivation, but i think the necessity is a good kick in the ass for me.  It's made me realize that i've been a slacker for the last few weeks. there were a lot of things i could have been doing and should have been doing but just wasnt out of laziness... but now i'm being forced to not be lazy.  I don't have a choice when I have 12 hour days of constantly doing something.. being forced into action is what I need.  I need a little motivation and my schedule is giving me that.  I have no other choice but to get to bed on time, take care of my food, get focused and be purposeful with my time.  Things will be a little crazy rushing from the y to practice and back to the y, but it's not like it's stuff i havent done before (thank you wake forest).  and i am also aware my words and actions havent matched up.. and i can't and wont say anything to that.  the only thing i can do is DO something about it.  I know some people have their opinion made up about me, and there's nothing i can say to change how they think/feel about me- except to do it and prove them wrong.  i'm always up for a challenge :)

also, my eating hasn't been very focused lately.  i can make a billion excuses as to why i've turned to chocolate rather than vegetables.. and even as i write that i have to laugh because most people probably would take the chocolate in a heart beat... but i'm not trying to be like everyone else.. im not trying to be average.. im not trying to be half way.. i'm not trying to just be a national lifter.. i want to be better and i want to be more than all of those things and they all take sacrifice.. and i havent had my mind in a place where i could push through the uncomfortable and unfun moments for a bigger and more important moment of greatness.. but im getting my mind, body, and emotions in line to make myself more than i am now.

i cant remember who i was talking to but we were talking big life picture and they compared successes and failures to people on diets (and why so many of the diets end up failing) is because of one set back, or one cookie the person thinks "oh well i had one, i might as well have 458789 more because i fell off the band wagon" i think thats how i felt these last few weeks with the odd schedule and my wrist and nothing seemingly falling into place... but places are being filled and i'm getting myself put back together. one day at a time, one lift at a time. one moment at a time.  no excuses. no wrinkles. let's go.