It Takes A Team... To teach me to snatch

Ellyn, Steph, Joooooh, Bill, and little effort from me :) all worked to get me better at snatching today.  Talk about remediation 101.  Geesh. Sometimes I feel slightly ridiculous breaking down the lift and starting in basic and 'simple'(?) positions.  Ridiculous is okay because if I don't fix it I will continue snatching what I have been snatching for years. No thanks, I'd rather get better.  So I spent an hour (maybe longer) working with the bar and my teammates and coaches trying to get myself into the correct positions for the snatch.  Most specifically the infamous space from right above my knee to my hip.

I should have recorded Ellyn trying to demonstrate to me how I snatch.  It's borderline hilarious when she does it because it looks so spastic. I want to laugh as I type that.. but I know the next sentence has to be me explaining how spastic I look when I do that very thing with so much ease. It's not fair that I'm such a goon. But I'm getting better.  Ellyn may be reading my blog too frequently because she came in to the gym today and said today was the day we were going to fix my snatch and I said, "finally!" She know's I was half-kidding when I said that because since day 2 of training with the team, I've wanted my form and technique to be perfect.  On more than one occasion, and more like every practice (especially when I snatch) Ellyn tells me to be patient with myself and my progress.  WAAAAYYY easier said than done.  But the point of this side note was to validate my own twisted urgency and desire for immediate progress- and that bug I've caught has spread to Ellyn.. YAY! Now I can REALLY start to get better.  :)  She's probably going to regret ever saying that to me, but its too late.

Throughout practice every one had their eyes on me.. or at least one.  When I would step up to the bar the team was there, when I wasn't understanding how to stay tight, Bill was there.  When I would snap my knees back (they aren't supposed to do that), EVERYONE saw that, so I couldn't argue with Ellyn whe she said she saw it.  When I wasn't making everything tight, Bill showed me how I could stay tighter.  When Jooooh thought I was struggling mentally, he gave me a pep talk.  When Ellyn was too frustrated with my ridiculous comments, Steph was there to clean up the mess...  It probably will take a few more days of constant supervision and support to get me out of my crazy and awful habits.  I will load some videos up here of my progress and/or shenanigans over the next few days... Maybe I'll have another crazy Friday night in Bridgewater.. so many possibilities!!

bottom line: I still need to work on snatch.. (yes I know, going on the end of week 3 and it's still not perfect.. what is going on?!), I have a great coach, and a great team that's supportive and helpful and often tries to level me out.. which I need on occasion.  nogodeacs

I'm a nut job... and i like to write about it.

Yes, I said it.  I think I'm nearly bonkers when it comes to getting my thoughts/feelings/emotions under-control when it comes to lifting and maxes or close to maxes...or just when things aren't going as perfectly or as quickly as I want, expect or hope.  Today was a testing day and I wasn't completely sure how it was going to go.  When I've maxed out with the track team or waaaayy back in the day at Pasco HS, I was always excited and ready, willing, and able to step up to the challenge.  Today was different.  I wasn't very excited about it- not to the point of dreading what I was about to do, but just not 120%.

Snatch went okay.  I hit my competition PR and had a 2kilo-would-be-PR over my head, but when I caught it(? not sure if that's where the issue came from!) my left elbow was pretty bent.  And I ended up pressing out the left side out.  Kind of funny... ? It wasn't too upsetting to have done such a ridiculous thing.  So then I had 3 more attempts and didn't make any more lifts.   I waited around for a little- then clean and jerk warm-ups started.  They all felt really good until about 85%.. they were fast, close, tight (mostly?) and doing what they were supposed to... for the clean part any way.  Jerks were all over the place.  I've been trying to focus on a quick dip and drive and not half front squatting before I drive up. . . it didn't really happen today. nothing I really planned on happening or doing happened today.  Nothing felt "great" it was all okkkkay.

When the cleans got heavier both my physical and mental focus/intensity died out/didn't exist.  Missed one lift... missed another... missed a third... started to just do pulls... awesome. not.  yesterday when my mind was going a thousand miles a min i took a few min to write what I was thinking, feeling, dreading, wanting to say, wanted to yell, wanted to cry about etc.  Taking a few moments to jot down what I was thinking/feeling/wanting to say (and being in the gym or on the platform was not the right place or time to do it- I found myself constantly drowning in my own thoughts and emotions).  In comes the pen and notebook.  A few min to myself and my notebook I seem to be able to pull myself together or out of my mess of emotions, feelings and other shenanigans.  It's like a weight has been lifted and the pressure of my thoughts is gone when I can put it all down on paper and 'talk' myself through it all.

I felt the same way today... lost, i guess you could call it.. I figured I didn't have anything else to lose so I took some time and wrote about what I was thinking.  feeling. and trying to feel.  It seemed to work. and I felt an improvement in my attitude right away.  I didn't make the remaining lifts, but I had better 'fire' when it came to them because I was able to focus and sort out my jumbled mess of a brain.  Discovering my 'secret weapon' (that's no longer a secret) of writing my emotions/feeling down and getting them out  will be a big help in the days, weeks, months, and years to come with my lifting.  one day at a time. one note, one word, one thought, one lift, one rep.

i love weightlifting this much

The absolute last thing I want to be doing is updating this blog with my mess of a practice today.  It was awful. I hated it. I was so frustrated. I was annoyed.  I felt stupid. I am still working on the same freaking things.  I'm tired of not getting better.  I'm irritated I make the same mistakes. I'm frustrated a simple thing like an RDL I can't do. I'm mad I don't feel the positions I'm supposed to be in and the ones I'm NOT supposed to be in.  Everything felt the same= awful.

Even thinking about practice today makes my blood pressure raise and the frustration immediately returns.  awesome. I was just not at all interested in snatch today.  Didn't want to do it, didnt want to be there, there were a lot more I dont/I can't thoughts than positive, yes I can thoughts. I don't know why today was so bad. I think I was fine before practice started... idk maybe it was missing a snatch at 75%...? Idk.  The snatch before that wasn't so good either and there's a lot more I don't know how to do than what I do know how to do.  I'm conflicted.  I was talking with Kat about the shenanigans with my practice today and we talked about how/if there's a line/how to walk the line/how to manage emotions, thoughts and feelings walking the line of "yes I want to get better and yes I need to get better" and the other of "oh well, it was a bad practice/lift/rep/etc".  Where does the need/want/desire/drive to get better and improve cross over into too much?  And where does the "I don't care attitude or letting go or moving on or whatever other word(s) a person uses to describe the opposite of being motivated to improve" idk i guess that's not the best way to describe the "other half" of the equation.  But that's what I feel.  I think I've done a pretty good job moving on most other days. But after a while it just gets annoying.

Here's a little insight into what my brain is thinking after being here and training for a few weeks... (I would say the occurrence of a positive and improving attitude happens most of the time) Okay. So I'm much stronger with the weight over head.. okay that's positive.  I'm much stronger doing pulls from the floor... okay that's positive.  I can over head squat a lot more than I've been able to snatch... again positive.  So I feed myself these lines for a while and then I don't get better with the important lift.  From there it gets bad.  If I can lift 15 and 20 and 30 kilos more in the other lifts... whhhhhhhyyyy isn't my snatch improving? ugh.  Oh. I can tell you why. It's because of the 12inches from above my knee to my hip the lift goes all to hell.  Oh have you been working on this for the last 3 weeks? yup. Has it changed? not really... okay to be fair it probably has- but it hasn't translated into the lift itself.  In my mind that's a no.  Are you frustrated? extremely. Again I ask where that line of wanting to improve and get better with the lift and the line of moving on cross.  And how to be okay with not improving? and not getting better every day? How and where does that happen?

When Kat and I were talking about our frustrations/love of the sport (something I vocalized today at practice after squats.. how much i looooved the sport today. :-/ ) We talked about the lines and where we've fallin on each of those lines and what happens when we (I) fall on the wrong side. I think being separated from practice, the gym, the moment, and just being able to vent and process some of the thoughts and feelings out loud (and having someone who has been there(angry/frustrated/etc) and done that (gone through the same thoughts and feelings) and is in the same boat I'm in (still trying to figure everything out) was helpful.  I didn't feel quite as crazy as I did earlier.  I didn't feel like I was a lone.  I didn't feel like I was sinking in my own mess.  I felt, for maybe the first time since practice ended, okay.  Felt like I wouldn't be so off the wall, felt like I could bounce out of this funk, felt like there was hope (maybe that's a little extreme.. but hopefully you get the point).  I guess I feel like I need to have everything under control all the time and I need a plan and I need easily identifiable progress markers (completing competition lifts at PRs and then some).  When those don't happen in a reasonable amount of time (MY time... not the actual training guide/progression timeline) I get frustrated and freak out. Working on it...

Behind in blogging

As my mom pointed out this morning, I haven’t posted a blog since Wednesday.  My Thursday schedule is an all day event starting with practice 9-12-ish, a quick shower and lunch then off to the Y at 1:30 until 9:30 or 9:45 (depending on if I have to wait with the front desk staff).  Once I’m done at the Y I drive back to Bridgewater and it’s after 10 and I am ready for bed. No excuses, but there’s just not a whole lot of time to properly blog on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I was a slacker because now it’s Sunday and I’m just starting to finish the workouts from the last week.  I’m working on getting better (both with blogging and lifting). 

To be honest part of my hesitancy for Thursday’s blog is because I wasn’t thrilled with the outcome of the workout (at the time).  Thursday was a test a programmed increase in both lifts.  Go deacs.  A few weeks ago Ellyn asked me what numbers I wanted to hit at the next meet, I told her and then she and I made a plan to reach those numbers one kilo at a time.  With the plan she told me I would be lifting new PRs each week to build my confidence as well as to hopefully make a few of the lifts.  Short version of the story: I didn’t make any new PRs and I was upset and frustrated.  Little bit longer version of the story: Sometimes having practices that don’t go perfectly are good for me.  When everything is smooth and easy, I tend to get comfortable with what I’m doing and satisfied with the progress I’ve made.  But that’s not a good thing for me (to be comfortable) because I have so much more work to do and technique and strength to improve and increase.  Not successfully completing lifts makes me focus more on what I need to be doing- it basically kicks me in the ass and gets me motivated. 

Here’s the longer version of Thursday’s practice:  Kindof excited and kind of nervous for the new maxes.  Spent more time alone (focusing) than I normally do at practice (umm… something to think about) because the new maxes would need my full attention.  For snatch things are good..mentaly, physically, emotionally.. until going over 65/reds/and maybe even a little anxiety adding weight to get to red.   I don’t have the piece of paper that had all the numbers I was supposed to hit, but from what I remember, I started missing lifts right at my PR.  I think I took 3 attempts at weights at or higher than my PR and missed them all.  Womp.  Good times.

And it’s from this point I’m not sure where or how to begin.  I had conflicting feelings and thoughts about each lift and the failed attempt.  At the time I was angry and frustrated at myself for working every day and “getting better” and getting stronger, but having nothing to show for it.  If I’m so much stronger and my technique is so much better, why can’t I lift more right now?  I was frustrated with those thoughts and Ellyn kept telling me to focus on ‘just this one’ and to stream positive thoughts about the lift… reminding myself I stood up with significantly more weight with snatch recoveries and over head squats and I pulled more weight with my snatch pulls than I was attempting to lift then.. I tried to hold onto those thoughts, feelings and memories- I probably did an okay job- but none of that was enough to get the weight into a stable and manageable position to complete the lift.  Once I was freed from my snatch attempts I moved on to clean and jerk- my good ole standby.  In between exercises Ellyn told me to leave the snatch shenanigans behind me so I could focus on clean and jerk.  I told her that’s never a problem for me to leave snatch behind and move onto clean and jerk- usually it’s a relief to be able to move on… (maybe that’ll change one day…)

Clean and jerks felt better (and looked better according to Ellyn) than they ever have before.  I don’t get nearly as anxious with clean and jerk as I do with snatch.  The warm-up weights weren’t difficult and for the most part, each lift felt the same- which I don’t remember happening very often/ever before.  Progress.  I think when I got to around my PR or higher the lifts weren’t coming together… I had the same thought process I had with snatch… “If I’m getting better and stronger every day, why can’t I produce better results?”  I must have said this or something along these lines to Ellyn at practice because she told me if I were tapered, or rested, or if it had been a competition (more rest between the two lifts), things would have been different and I probably wouldn’t have struggled with these lifts.  At the time the things she said weren’t being heard.  I didn’t care about this or that- I just wanted to make the lifts and be better today.  With a little time and separation from the lifts, I know taking those lifts (that I missed) made me better and more prepared for my next meet and the next time I face those weights in practice.  Bring it.

God Bless Ellyn for putting up with my crazy attitude and mood swings, because she was happy with the progress I made this week and the weeks before.  I’m trying to wait patiently (ha!) for everything to come together… one day closer.  

Things I love... right now.

There are a few things that make me extra happy right now... and I figured I'd share them!  Item number one is my Wake Tervis tumbler... go deacs. 

Number two is a good pair of warm and fuzzy sweat pants... these fabulous ones I have are of the Target variety

The third one is a no-brainer.  I love nice nails, long nails, painted nails etc!  These were freshly painted Monday (and a little touch-up work done tonight) But the color is great and my nails are at an optimum length, and the color is a NEW edition to my OPI collection..

 That brings me to the 4th thing....NEW OPI NAIL POLISH!! Kat went home for her brother's wedding last weekend and got her toes painted this color: "Chapel of Love" and brought me back the bottle!! I was SO excited!! It had been ages since I've had added another love to my collection.  Yes, I may be slightly obsessed. I'll have to post my whole collection sometime soon!

By the way- these favorites of mine are in random order so don't be fooled that the nail polish was at the end!  :)

Now onto the training from today... Snatch. Is anyone surprised?  When Ellyn emails the workouts there are a few (maybe only one) days where we have the option to work on snatch or clean and jerk.  I have stopped writing down both lifts because whenever there is an option- I have no option, it's snatch.  I don't mind because if I don't work on snatch I will be stuck at 70 for the rest of my life.  Not so excited about that one! But I am excited to get better and I am willing to put in the work and maybe once in a while get frustrated (ha!).  Today I felt awful.  I was up from 2-3am because my back was in so much pain. Until the last two nights I haven't ever been woken from a deep sleep because of pain in my back.  So from 2-3 this morning I was rolling out trying to make my back feel better and waiting for the ibuprofen to kick in.  Once the pain went away, it was gone, but getting it to go away was awful.  I was able to go back to sleep, but missing that hour of sleep threw me off for a good portion of the day- especially the start of practice.

Sometimes having those days when things don't feel right (physically) and I'm drained emotionally and mentally lifts go really well.  Part of the success from those lifts are from me/my mind not being able to get in the way-- it's too tired.  I think that worked for some of the lifts today.  Snatches felt slower than they had the rest of the week, but I think everything was just slow and my mind and body weren't completely connected when I started working out this morning.  We had 5 sets of snatches on 90 seconds rest.  I made all of my lifts and I think they got better as I went.  If I am not completely focused on the 'pole' that's in front of me, I tend to go back to my old awful ways of snatching.  Ellyn saw a little of that today and we were able to fix it once she pointed it out.   Here's a video clip of my lifts today.  I wasn't smart enough to slow them down until I was editing one of my teammates videos- so you'll have to have good eyes to watch what I'm doing.  :)

After Snatch I went to Jerk balance and at the end of the sets I had improved 5 kilos from last week- yet again putting more weight over my head than I ever had.  That's a good sign!  I didn't feel as good about the jerk balance as I have in previous weeks.  I think I was doubting myself about where my feet needed to be.. But Ellyn said to me, if i wasn't in the right positions I wouldn't have been able to complete the lifts.  She's probably right about that... as she is with a few other things.  One thing I can do better is holding my breath and being tight throughout the whole lift.  When I wouldn't hold my breath the lifts would be wobbly, or shaky, or I wouldn't make them.. sometimes all 3 of them. I am anxious to see how another practice of Jerk balance translates into my jerks.

Snatch balance is similar to jerk balances, but just in a snatch grip. duh.  I think I like those more than the jerk recoveries- they aren't quite as hard... is that odd for me to say an exercise designed for improvement in snatch I'm liking better than clean and jerk.. I'm scared! lol  With the snatch balances I felt a lot better- better meaning more stable, being able to find the 'strong' positions throughout the lift and feeling how those positions will directly translate into my snatch.  Dang. When I get my snatches in the positions they need to be there will be HUGE improvements--- everything I do as accessory work for the snatch is so much higher than my actual lift.  This would probably be a good time to bring up how I occasionally joke with Ellyn about how one day my snatch will be better than my jerk.  lol i'm just waiting for that to happen.  Then all of the snatch days will turn into Jerk days.

Back squats seemed harder than they should have been today.  Last time we had the same working sets/reps I ended up doing 5kilos more last week than I did today- but I am grateful for that because the sets I did were challenging enough.

The good news is I'm getting better every day.  Each week I am slowly morphing into a better and better lifter.  Now all I need to do is get into a weight class where all my hard work will actually pay off and mean something.  Time to buckle down.  Hopefully I will be able to sleep through the night tonight and be able to fend off this lovely little cold or whatever I have... I took Nyquil a few hours ago and it's kicking in pretty strong right now.  I've typed most of this post with my eyes closed than with them open.  Not sure if any of this will make sense... but I'm going to hope for the best and go to bed.  Enjoy.

Progress..

If I'm as quick and on top of things as I need to be, I should have a post before I leave for the Y.  Today is one of my long days this week because I work from 2-6 and then 630-945.. thennn I have a 30min drive back to my apt- so that puts me back here close to 11 (bed time) and doesn't leave a bunch of time to blog properly.  So here goes..

First lift of the day was a hang clean, then a power clean followed by a jerk.  Ellyn brought the pole out again for my warm-ups and it helped keep me in the correct positions...... and I just got back to the apartment and talked to Kat for a while about nonsense and her streetwalker friend who just got an awful tattoo.  It is too big, too ugly, and I don't like it. Yes, I said all of those things to Kat and she agreed, but she's still friends with her.  And I am extremely distracted and tired and don't really want to go into the details I should about my lift today, but I'm going to do a quick and dirty version (kind of like Kat's friends tattoo :))

All of my Olympic lifts are getting better.  I am getting in better positions and able to alleviate most of the discomfort I had been having in my lower back.  With that said I watched some video from todays lift and noticed on my hang cleans I am still doing my crazy feet and doing odd and awful things with my hips.. When I clean from the floor the problem isn't nearly as bad, but it still needs to be fixed.  Another thing I need to improve/start doing is shrugging UP with my lifts.  I loose a lot of good energy and power when I don't shrug up.  Again, I think this is something I am able to get away with right now because of my strength, but when the weights get heavier, I wont be able to muscle the weight.

My jerks have gotten a lot better since last week. One thing I need work on is keeping my shoulders back and my elbows up (or not letting them fall.. which ever may be the case) and keeping my chest tight.  When I Jerk, the weight doesn't collapse on me like it used to and my feet and hands are finishing nearly at the same time.  progress.

Here's a video of what I was talking about/trying to say with these previous 2 or 3 paragraphs...

Well, I am tired and I need to be in bed... Hopefully I'll have a LITTLE more time tomorrow to finish up the details of todays workout and more success stories from tomorrows....

snatch and smile...

Things are transferringggg! The breakthrough with snatch I had this weekend continues! Today's practice went well.  There were 3 sets of snatch and Ellyn and I changed my warmup slightly to include the pole pause combo thingy (I really should just pick a name for it) from this weekend.  I should apologize right now because I have no video or photos from today because I'm a goober and left my camera in my unpacked bag from this weekend.  Go Deacs.

Back to practice.

The first lift was hang snatch and then a snatch up to 85%.  There wasn't a lot of big mistakes or corrections to be made with either of those lifts.. Some minor corrections were to keep/start shrugging up and keeping the bar closer. But big things like my crrazy feet weren't even mentioned! And I think there was a smile or two by both Ellyn and myself. Woah. And it was a Monday. Hang snatch was not as smooth or powerful as my new and improved from-the-floor snatches are, but they are still much better than they were a week ago.  Progress.

RDL's are getting better too... I've got better form and have been able to do more weight.  Progress.

I think I'm finally over my panic about front squats.  I'm not sure if it was from the progress made this weekend in snatch or just being further down the road from my last front squat adventure- either way front squats went up to one heavy single and I had another PR.  Up 3 kilos from 2 weeks ago.  Once we reached our top number for front squat for that day, we then did 3x2 at a lighter weight.  After the front squats came all the auxiliary lifts/exercises.  There were improvements there too both in weight and form.  Another good day in the books.  I've got a lot more good days than bad days.. I guess that's what happens when you're where you're supposed to be, doing what you're supposed to do.

Marked improvement

Lifting and getting better at lifting is fun, but there's a lot more to the sport than just getting stronger.  I'm strong and I am confident in my physical strength, but there are two crucial areas where I am not nearly as confident or strong.  My technique and understandings of the lifts are lacking quite a bit (I'm new!)and my mental training isn't as intense as my physical training(I'm lazy) ; those things need to change.  Some of them did this weekend.   Here's a video of how slow and in need of improvement (a nice way of saying awful) my snatches were on Friday....

On Saturday...one day later... my snatches got a lot better.  Ellyn invented a new training technique (?) to help me stay over the bar while I'm lifting instead of rocking back on my heels.  I'll describe it then show you a video.  Starting from the ground in a snatch position, solid with feet on the ground and tight back- Ellyn would actually push me to make sure my feet were solid and I was holding my breath-  Once I was set I would pull the bar to right under my knees and hold for two seconds, then move the bar up to right above my knees, hold for two seconds, and then go to my mid-thigh holding for two seconds and finishing with a snatch pull.  Sounds pretty simple- but if I had done this last week (without a pole) it would have looked a lot like the top video, but this weekend things clicked.  Here's a video of the pull and pause series and immediately after I'd do a full speed snatch. It shouldn't be hard to see the difference in speed and positions... if you're having trouble watch my feet.  

It was fun to snatch when it went how it was supposed to! Crazy thought, right?! Lots of things were made better this weekend. A lot of things were improved.  Tomorrow is the start of another week.  Another week closer to my first meet with a team.  19 days to be exact (that was for Kat).  Part of me is excited for the meet and part of me is nervous.  I think it all goes with the territory of being an athlete and being a competitor- but it's how a person/athlete responds to the nerves... practice the anxiety of the lifts in practice so you'll know how to deal with it in a competition.  

Random side note for anyone interested... I think tonight was the first time I put "snatch" and "improvement" in the same tag for the post and then smiled about it! Maybe I really am getting better! ;)

keeping it together

It's Friday.  And freezing! I did not want to get out of bed this morning because of the absolute freezing-ness of this lovely Massachusetts weather.  Awful.  Luckily I had a lift this morning and the gym is usually pretty warm and I sweat up a storm.  I layered on my clothes and headed out the door.  Today we had Snatch and Clean and Jerk up to 90% and back squats, heavy singles and then do 3 sets of 2 at 90% of the heavy single.

Snatch was first.  Things went well (?) until after the last set on the blue bumper plates.  When we had to change the plates to red 7billion doubts and negative thoughts came into my mind.  Part of the panic I felt was because the 3 cues I had for my warmups didn't seem to be working. I wasn't moving my hips and shoulders together and nothing was fast-- panic. Do I change 'the plan'? But things are supposed to be consistent start to finish-- panic.  But this isn't working-- panic.  Do I tell Ellyn? Do I keep it to myself? Panic. I don't know what to do- panic.  I think at one point I was on the verge of tears because of it (stress, confusion, nervous, scared, etc)... but I told myself, way back at camp, that I wouldn't cry in the weight room and I kept my word.  So, no crying.

I told Ellyn my thoughts/half thoughts and she said we were going to turn this into a meet situation.  What if this happens during warmups? What if everything feels awful and nothing we're doing or trying isn't working? Well, 65 is the opener and let's go. We don't have time to change anything because the clock is running, time is ticking. Bounce out of it. Fix it now.  No other options.   With that said, I set out on the task at hand: 65k. Just this one.  Setting up, thinking I am strong I can do this, hold breath, see the pole, fast, Snatch.  It may not have been the prettiest thing I've ever done, but I made the first lift.  Ellyn telling me to get to the bar and lift it because we didn't have time kindof made me snap out of my worry-wart brain and get to the task. Leaving the unproductive part of my thoughts far far away from the platform.  I cannot remember how much rest I had between the two sets, but making the first one gave me a  little bit more confidence for the second one.  Setting up at the bar and getting rid of everything but my 3 cues.  Another successful lift.  Not perfect, but afterwards I asked Ellyn if the ultimate goal of heavier lifts is to make the lifts of to do them properly.  At the higher percentages, making the lift is what's important.

Clean and Jerk was next.  I am much more confident with the clean and jerk than I am with the snatch (as of now-- always hoping/waiting for that to change!), so I was more confident and relaxed going into this lift.  As I was doing my warmups they felt okay- getting the jerks up felt a little weird on my shoulder- not painful, or tight, but maybe cold is a better word to use?- which lead me to change the weight progression (with Ellyn's permission) we would normally follow.  When the lifts got up to around 80/85% I realized my focus between sets was awful.  I don't think I could say I was focusing. I was enjoying my teammates and helping film and maybe harassing a person or two.  Recognizing my lack of focus and placing myself in my time-out box(TOB) was crucial.  The TOB helps me focus on me and what I need to do- it helps me focus on my positions and it helps me see what I need to do to finish the lift.  I am a completely different lifter when I come out of my TOB than when I entered it.  I am much more purposeful, intense(?), and focused.  Typically the results of my lifts are A LOT better after- and today was no exception.  Out of the TOB and onto my first clean and jerk- successful lift.  Back in the box for a few min and then out to finish the work.  Another good lift.  Progress still being made with my split position with the jerk- but overall (both lifts included) things are getting better.

Back squats had me a little nervous because of my hissy-fit/break down last weekend when I floundered doing my front squats.  Even typing that right now, I feel like I just need to forget about all of that.  But these are my thoughts from today, while I was working out.  For squats we were told to go up to one heavy single and then take 90% from the heaviest single and do reps with that percentage.  I like doing heavy squats with the team there.  They are able to help encourage me and cheer me on when I feel like quitting or when I'm stuck during the lift.  Having the team there makes me more accountable and adds a little pressure of 'I don't want to let all of them down'- that makes it harder for me to give up.  With that said, I had a new back squat PR today.  Up 3 kilos from last week.  I was kindof impressed with myself :)  New back squats are exciting for me because for years, yes literally years, I was stuck at 297lbs.  Could not reach 300 if I wanted to.  So, now within the last 3 weeks I've had 2 PRs. Supa cool!  It helps to have concrete progress. numbers I can say are better.  Snatch and clean and jerk are sometimes hard for me to say 'yep, i've gotten better' because I haven't lifted more.  I' may have the best form in the world, but if it doesn't translate to the lifts themselves (and in competitions) I don't feel like my progress can be something I can be definitive about.  Maybe that's another area I need to work on...

Pulling it all together

Robinson Weightlifting has 4 scheduled lifts  each week.  The normal schedule is Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday.  Last week we took Monday off and then lifted Tuesday-Friday.  This week was the normal schedule- scheduled lifts M, T, W, F. You may be wondering why I'm posting about my Thursday lift when there's not one scheduled.. WELL that's because I get to do more technical/technique work with my snatch.  It's one of those things that I hate to love.  Snatch is my weakest lift and I need the most work on it- so I work on it the most.  Makes sense.

Today was all about snatch.  And focusing on 2 or 3 mental cues- instead of the mile long list I came up with yesterday (and every day I snatch).  This is what Ellyn had for me today:

1. Roll and stretch with the mental aspect of focusing

2. Normal snatch warmup- thinking about the mental prep

3. "New" Second pull, snatch under- thinking Tight, Elbows to sky, Fast under

4.  Hang snatch pull + snatch- Hold breath, Clink, Fast

5. Snatch recovery + snatch- Hold breath, catch my snatch in same position as snatch recovery

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After finishing the lifts and technique work some of the bigger things Ellyn and I were trying to focus on (the hip speed and contact with the bar) weren't translating into the heavier sets. We had a meeting of the minds and talked about how we could get the great pulls from #3 to translate into a snatch.  After bouncing ideas/comments/concerns back and forth we came up with some brilliant idea/phrase/concept that was so amazing I cannot remember what it is now.  go deacs. Whatever conclusion we came up with we decided it would be a good idea to do more pulls at a heavier weight.  That's where the "extra credit pulls at 55 3x3"came in.  

The first set was okay- better than the sets I did with snatch recovery and then snatch.  The bar was moving quicker than it had earlier in the practice and Ellyn had put a pole in front/in my face so my hips wouldn't shoot up and send my head forward... it worked but I was still awkward with the positioning and my focus. Ellyn gave me a B- on the first set.  The next set.. I don't think.. the pole was physically there, but Ellyn told me to envision it there so I wouldn't shoot my hips up and hit my face on it. The second set went much better- the bar was faster, more dynamic (a word I don't use often when talking about snatch!), close and purposeful.  I got an A on that set.  The final set I am positive the pole wasn't there, but I still had to envision it being there so I would be able to sit back into my hips (that's basically a different way of saying stay flat footed/hips and shoulders rise together/don't shoot my hips up etc etc etc).  The last set was the best and Ellyn gave me an A+.  She's got video of all that so I can't be super cool and put it in here... yet.  This was another practice where I got better.  Pretty soon there'll be even bigger things happening.  I cannot wait.  

Patience is not something I have a whole lot of when it comes to the progress/quest for perfection and Ellyn talked to me a little about that today when we were done with everything.  She's happy with how I've improved and how far I've come and she's positive my technique will get to where it needs to be and where I want it to be, but it will take time.  When she was done, I said to her, "I've been here almost 2 weeks." :) I think she was implying it might take a little bit longer than 2 weeks.  sigh. 

In other important news I am freaking disgusting buy the time I leave the gym. Out of everyone in there I am the one who, hands down, sweats the most. I think I put the guys to shame.  Here's my RWL shirt from yesterdays workout.  Can you find the dry spot? There's only one.  oh ya, it's at the VERY bottom of the front of my shirt.  Completely soaked.  When I got to the end of my workout I had not one dry spot to wipe my face with! Ellyn thought it might be because I put on lotion, so I did an experiment and didn't put any on after my shower and nope. still as sweaty as ever. 

Enjoy those lovely disgusting t-shirts. And thank Gawd Ellyn gave me another t-shirt to wear at practice because this shirt wasn't even close to being dry in the morning.  At least my teammates don't judge me for that :) even though they probably should...

Ellyn was right..

What a great way to start of the blog this evening than with this dashing young man! Arty threatened he'd return the favor of me recording him in the ice tub- so I might as well make his video as blatantly obvious as I can :) So enjoy his pain and embarrassment- and show your friends too! 

Thanks for being a good sport Arty!

I don't know where to go after this! I feel like the post cannot get any better! Maybe I should have ended with this video... oh well, I've gone too far now.  Practice today was pretty successful.  I'm making progress.  And getting better.  Not perfect, but better and for now that's perfect.  On the workout Ellyn sent the team there was the option of snatch or clean and jerk for the first exercise. Anyone have a guess as to what I did. Yup. Snatch. It's not even an option. But I am okay with that.  

Snatch today was 5 sets of singles with one min rest between. My snatch is getting better- but I don't have a regular thought process or pattern to consistently rehearse.  That means I think of EVERYTHING.  hips under. hold breath. feet flat. no heels. writs turned in. back tight. head up. but not too far.  focus. confidence. hips through. dont bend your knees. hips and shoulders rise together. stay tight. finish fast. catch low. feet and hands at the same time. pull back on the bar. shrug up. keep the bar close. push with your feet. elbows to ceiling. finish the pull. and somewhere in between all of that the lift happens.  There's too much going on.  Ellyn and I talked about that today- how were working on fixing the lift from the ground up and I need to pick a few (two) things to focus on and perfect those.  I made 4 out of my 5 lifts today and the one I missed was my first one. Right there was an opportunity to either get all crazy and down on myself or to use the miss as a prep for competition... what happens when I'm at a meet and I miss a lift? It can't ruin the rest of the meet.  I think I did a pretty good job of bouncing out of the first miss because the rest of practice could have gone in a completely different direction.  I also  think it was good to be shaken a little- it reminded me I needed to focus on every lift, every set, every rep.  

After snatch we moved to jerk recovery and I had a 5kilo PR from last week.  Trying to get more comfortable with the positioning of my feet with the jerk and continually pressing UP on the bar.  I think I only missed one rep of one set- and it was at a lighter weight.  I'm not sure if I felt less confident about this lift today than I did last week when I did it (for the first time) because I was thinking about the technical aspect and positions more than before.  I think last week I was waiting and feeling the positions (not over analyzing) more than I was today.  Today my mind and body were trying to remember the positions last week and trying to make them happen instead of just letting them happen.  There seems to be a fine line between listening/feeling what your body is doing and not over thinking the lift.  Over thinking can be similar to what I wrote about my thought process for snatch or it could be thinking about 2 or 3 things instead of just one.  

Today was the first time I had done snatch recovery with Ellyn.  Before today I would be at Wake trying  to do what I thought was a snatch recovery and not really sure if anything was going right... Doing the snatch recoveries in Kelly, I was in a solid, stable and strong at the bottom of the lift (which is something I have never felt while snatching).  Hopefully the positions I got into doing snatch recoveries will translate into my positions while snatching.  It's during these lift specific exercises, when I feel what a good snatch or what a good clean and jerk position is reassures me Ellyn knows what she's doing :).  Here's a video of my last set of snatch recoveries: made the first one, missed the second, reset and finished solid on the third.  

This may be an appropriate time to inform everyone that I often ask Ellyn, during practice, if she's sure about a cue she gives me or if she's sure I was doing something wrong (crazy feet).  Sometimes I don't like to believe her when she says I'm rocking back on my heels or pulling too soon or any of the awful habits I have because I feel like I haven't done them. video often humbles me.  And time and time again she's right. But I just have to ask if she's sure... just in case :) 

I wasn't sure how I was going to do today with the front squats.  Last time I front squatted it was awful and I was nervous it was going to happen again. Or the same feelings of I'm not strong enough to do this would come back and take over.  I'm not sure how I blocked those thoughts out... maybe it was one of Ellyn's cues she uses often: just this one... So I focused on just this one rep, just this one set, just. this. one. And it worked. Again Ellyn was right. It looks like that's something I'll have to get used to :) nogodeacs.  

No-Go-Deacs

If you've been around me for more than 5 seconds you'll know I use the phrase "go deacs" about every other sentence.  The background for the "go deacs" comes from my alma mater Wake Forest University.  My 5th year and the year after Wake was AWFUL at football and basketball. It was painful to watch and be around and it was hard to be a deac (now would probably  be a good time to mention our mascot is the Deamon Deacons- thus the shortened "deac").  A few of my friends and I turned the cheerful "Go Deacs!" into a negative thing.  When I explain it to people who aren't familiar with the phrase I tell them it would be like this: I got a parking ticket on my birthday... go deacs. Hopefully that makes sense to those of you new to "go deacs":)   If not- stay posted and I'm sure it will become clear. . .

The post title comes from Ellyn who wanted more good things than bad.. so Ellyn (i think it was her) started countering my "go deacs" with "nogodeacs".  I'm not sure if this is making sense to anyone who hasnt heard me say that before... womp. Moving on.

Practice today was good.  Last night I spent some time on YouTube watching videos of various lifters who have much improved/better technique than myself and I think watching them helped me today.  Last night when I was online something 'clicked' with my lifts.  I saw a lot of the other lifters catch the bar on their shoulders and when they caught the bar it was caught on the solid, ridged shelf of their shoulders. Watching them lift made me realize I often have rounded shoulders (and not a tight back- among other things) when I catch the bar.  While I was watching videos I wrote down what I wanted to focus on with each lift.  Some cues I had for myself were: tight, hips and shoulders together, finish the pull and to be quick with my over head squats.

Today I think I got better with a lot of those cues I gave myself.  Starting with the last big lift- over head squats I went up 7kilos from last week and was tighter and quicker as I was doing the lift.  Each set got better and fairly consistently the last rep was the best.  Snatch grip behind the neck push-press also increased this week.  3kilos with that one.  My focus was better with these lifts than they were before.  I was purposeful and really worked on getting the timing of the dip and drive of my legs better today- so I could hear the 'clink' when I changed directions and began to press the bar over head.  I had a 3kilo PR with that from last week- but there's still room for improvement. I still wasn't as tight as I needed to be or as explosive with the dip and drive.  Anyone surprised I didn't get all bent out of shape about that? Writing about it I'm kind of surprised myself.  Does this mean I'm growing AND learning??

On to the fun part: clean and jerk (side note-- be waiting for the day clean and jerk is replaced with snatch!).  As of today my favorite/best lift is clean and jerk.  It's not hard to figure out why.. it's my best lift (even though there's a lot of work to be done with it!) and it plays more to my natural assist of brute strength.  Ellyn says most people are limited by their strength rather than technique- but for me it's my technique work that needs the most work :).  That's a good thing because when I get my technical side of the lifts down a little bit better I'll be making big jumps with my lifts.  Back to today's practice.. hang clean plus a clean and jerk.  Warmups went well- thought Ellyn was messing with me when she wanted me to bang the bar off my hips to see how far OUT it would go.. I was confused and had a bout of nervous laughter. sorry ellyn. :)  The lifts were quite a bit better and more consistent than they had ever been= good thing.  On the hang clean I still shift my hips backwards (and the bar slides down) before I bring my hips forward and move the bar UP.  Not as bad as it has been... i dont think... but still room for improvement.  Jerks seem to be completely different from a week ago-- at least with the foot work.  I feel my feet moving quicker and getting into better positions (wider and pointed in the right direction!).  Doing jerk recoveries last week translated pretty much instantly to my jerks.  Which was nice and gave me a lot of confidence with jerks.  Yay!

I often feel like something is missing in my blogs when there aren't any pictures or videos or anything visually interesting- so here's a picture of one of the cues (and drawing of what I wanted to do with my lift off the floor) I wrote down the night before the workout.  having something to think about right before bed and again when I'm lifting reinforces the habits I am trying to make permanent.

Along with the good practice today there were some pretty epic techno tunes in the gym today! Bill and I already bonded over our social dance experiences last week, and today we continued to share our excellent free style dance moves.  As Bill and I were fist pumping (as well as some other a.m.a.z.i.n.g.l.y ridiculous dance moves that involved a lot of hand movements and very little body movement) across the room my teammates would occasionally watch in horror amazement at our skills.  I think a few songs into the practice we were the only ones paying attention to the sweeeeeet moves being shared and Bill did a move right as I took a drink of water annnnd I lost it! Water went all over the platform and (maybe) Ellyn.  No one else knew what was going on or what was so funny which may have made the whole incident even funnier.  I wish I had a video of the sweet dance moves that were on display in Kelly Gym today, but I just have a video of Bill doing a clean and jerk.. At least y'all will put a name to the face :)  

nogodeacs!!

progress progress progress

yes, i'm getting there.  Slowly, but surely.  I apologize to my loyal readers (Mrs. Dolan and others) for not posting detailed overviews of my lifts from Friday and Saturday.  But here's the super short version... Friday I felt very productive and happy and excited about my lifts and the progress I had/continue to have.  The workout went well and that night Ellyn and I looked at/watched film from practice as well as YouTube videos of high caliber women lifters.  I was able to see lifters 20+kilos lighter than me snatch 30+kilos more than me.  Yeah, that's a little motivating! Seeing the way they moved with speed and purpose helped me realize how far I needed to come to reach my potential.  I seem to be a pretty good visual learner and watching other lifters (and their position/technique/etc) helps me do better with my own lifts.  It's hard to explain how watching someone lift translates to me lifting better because its like a door opens in my mind and my body can almost feel the proper positions I need to be in.  Anyway. Watching film is good for me.  Both of myself and of lifters better than myself.

Saturday was a snatch day with front squats.  10 sets of snatch at either 1 or 2 reps each set.  Snatch went well.  I am still working on speeding up the last half/last quarter of my pull right before and during acceleration of the bar when it come in contact with my hip.  We've figured out I don't know where to go once the bar gets about mid thigh... but were working on that. every day. every rep.  I am getting better and I can say that with full confidence (which doesn't always happen- and sometimes I have to say that through gritted teeth).  After snatch I started my front squats.  They. Were. A. Mess. I had a hard time completing the lifts and had to drop the weight a lot. (more than I wanted/was okay with- annnnd then the serial killer look came out.)  I don't think I was upset about not being able to complete the lifts, but I was more upset about not feeling strong and not being in positions I needed to be in to complete the lifts. It was down right awful. I was on the verge of tears because I was so frustrated.  I started to question my own strength and abilities. not good. Because after that things went down hill very quickly and rapidly and it was hard to pull myself out of my mood and feelings of inadequacy. God bless Ellyn and Lorie for putting up with me when I get like that. Because I know I am not pleasant to be around (and that's putting it SOOO nicely!).  So thanks for not giving up on me and your patience...

Wow. That wasn't as short as I was hoping or intending, but I got the important parts in there.  Monday is a new day- many people don't like Monday's because it's the start of a new week- but if you think about it, Monday is an opportunity to put the past behind and move forward.  Monday: a new practice. a new day. Leaving the low point of the weekend behind me because this is a new day. A fresh start to take the lessons of the lifts from last week and build on them (yes, even the lessons in the missed lifts- because sometimes the missed lifts have the biggest lessons of all).

Today was a snatch day.  It seems like that's what all of my days are!! :) We did 3 working sets of a hang snatch and a snatch.  Hang snatches were done off of blocks because Ellyn and I are trying to stop my awful habit of swinging my hips back and dropping the bar down before I move the bar up.  When the blocks are there the only place I have to go is up! First set went well- it felt smooth, close, quick and I may have even used my hips to accelerate the bar up and over my head... crazy thought right?!  The next two sets of hang snatches weren't as pretty or as smooth as the first..  I'm still trying to get a feel/rhythm and comfortability with the hip portion of the lift.  It felt like the hip "oomph", foot positioning (not quite as many crazy feet!), starting position, pull, lift off, speed and finish of the snatches was better and more consistent than it had been- ever.  Not where it needs to be, but CLOSER! I'm feeling better and better about the progress that's being made with the snatch- still a lot to go but it's SO much better.

RDLs are something I need a lot more work on.  I am extremely weak (about 100kilos too weak) in my hamstrings and that needs to be fixed so I can get in the positions I need to to be able to snatch properly.  We had to take the weight down from what we originally planned so I could get into the proper positions and start building up my strength.  I think Ellyn was surprised when she asked me if I was okay with the weight being so 'light' and taking 30kilos off- when I said yes.  I know doing more weight and doing the lifts incorrectly wont do anything to help me and I am okay with looking like a 3 year-old with my babyweights on the bar and doing the lifts correctly.  Perhaps it's a lesson in humility.  I don't have it all together like I often like to think I do.  But in order to get better I've got to turn my weaknesses into strengths.  Here's to getting better!

Back squats were the last big thing we had to do today.  This weekend when I struggled with my front squats Ellyn mentioned that I don't take every weight seriously when I'm squatting- and I think that showed this weekend.  And I did not want to have a repeat of the nonsense that I went through with the front squats.  I did a much better job treating each weight like it was going to be a challenge and I focused more on my form than I usually do.  The result was positive and the sets went well.

One of the biggest challenges I've come across since working with Ellyn and even being up in MA training on a daily basis- is the mental game.  It's got to be there every.single.day.  There's no break from the mental prep and focus.  It crosses over in every part of my day- from start to finish.  How much I'm sleeping to what I'm eating and when, to the work schedule I keep... a majority of my thoughts should be along the lines of how will this affect my lifting... is this a good thing for me or a bad thing- and not just today or tomorrow, but long term.  What's going to get me to where I need to be? No mental days off. And that's a big change from being at Wake and going in to do my lift and making the lift or missing it and then leaving.  I didn't grow much doing it that way.  Some times growing is painful, scary and uncomfortable- but when you grow and do all of the things you never thought you could or would do- there's no other feeling like that!

Now that all the heavy (ha!) stuff is done... please enjoy my teammates Derek and Joooooohh ice bathing. together. If this doesn't brighten your day nothing will!

Bounce out of it

It's been a fairly productive day.  Practice took a billion hours (but they were enjoyable-mostly!) and then an interview/meeting with some important people at a YMCA, a few random errands (and a pipe to roll out with) and back to the apt for food and a little cleaning.

Practice today was good I put that in italics because it was a good practice (got stronger and got better with technique issues), but like I said in earlier posts, I want it fixed now.  I want to snatch perfectly every time.  I want to hear the clink. I want to finish in the right positions. I want to catch low. And be strong in all of those positions.  But perfection didn't come today. Is anyone surprised but me? probably not.  I'm new. and learning.  and hopefully getting better each time.

I got a little moody with snatch today.  We were doing lighter weights but we were on a one min rest- so it was supposed to be challenging because of the lack of rest.  I think my biggest piece missing with my snatch is the last little bit of pull and "oomph" before I make contact with my hips.  This "issue" I have becomes screamingly obvious when I do hang cleans. I wiggle alllllll over the place. my hips go forward and backwards and my whole torso moves down before there's anyyy thought of moving the bar up over my head.  Now, here comes my frustration.... I can describe what's happening and I know (somewhat) what I SHOULD be doing.  Can i do it?  ugh no.  I can- but it hasn't happened yet.. paaaaatience..

I dont like to say I was angry when I was lifting(snatching) today because I don't think angry is the right word for how I feeling.  I was getting, I think, a combination of frustration and increased focus mixed with a competitive mindset- and so I entered my "timeout box".  My timeout box or TOB was created by Ellyn when I was at lifting camp this summer.  It's original purpose was to save me from being over coached by the 15 coaches that were at camp. but ssssshhh dont tell anyone! :) My TOB is a place where I focus my thoughts and I am left alone by other people and where I don't talk to anyone else... I focus on what I need to do for the lift.  Today, I placed myself in that box.  I wasn't happy with the snatch today so I got a little moody with that and it carried over into the jerk balance.  Around the 2nd or 3rd set of jerk balances everything was off- I wasn't completing the lifts and I was being sloppy and lazy with my positions.  here comes the TOB with a little more attitude.  I'm not going to lie I was pretty angry and frustrated at this point. But ironically enough I remembered writing in a post yesterday that talked about where I was going to put my energy... will I waste some of my 120% on beating myself up and not getting better or will I put that behind me and focus and get better now? I chose the second.  My next 3 sets got heavier and heavier and the precision and focus with each of those sets was better.  I ended up putting more weight over my head than I ever had and got better with my jerk position.

Back squats are fun for me on days I've been frustrated.  There isn't a lot of thinking involved and you just get to work and get stronger.  Down and up. Simple.  Before I started squats Ellyn told me she likes to push people when they are squatting unless its right before a meet. So today I got pushed.  The first 4 sets went on without a problem and on the last set Ellyn asked me how I felt about the number we picked for my last set.  I told her if the goal was to complete the set I could do the last set without issue, but if the goal was to push myself and to have the last set be a challenge and maybe struggle with it- we should add more weight.  Ellyn asked me if I was here to play it safe or if I was here to get better.  We added more weight.  There were two reps. First one down and up, took a few breaths, held my breath and went down for the second one. I got about half way up and couldn't finish the lift.  I was stuck at the bottom and wasn't sure what to do from there.  Ellyn told me to keep trying and I tried to stand up again. It didn't happen.  I dropped the weight and Ellyn and Bill put the weight back on the squat rack.  I had one more shot at finishing the set.   I went for the second rep.  Down and a quarter of the way up and back down.  I didn't make the lift, but Ellyn had a teachable moment for me.  If I'm ever down in a low squat and cannot get out, I should bounce up and down so I can get some momentum like I would have if i caught a clean or if I had just gone down and up from the squat.  Lesson learned.

Practice took about 4 hours from start to finish and by the time I had finished all the abs and smaller muscle groups it was almost 1pm and I had a meeting with some higher ups at a YMCA 30min away.  Quick shower, quick bite to eat and out the door to the Y.  I met with two people there and they seemed interested in having me and I should hear more back next week!

lesson from today: bounce out of it. Bounce out of the heavy squat, bounce out of the lack of focus, bounce out of a bad attitude and make it better.  Finish what you start. 120%.

Getting out of the Apartment

I've already started to get bored.  I am ready to start working and have a few prospects, but nothing to do right now.  I feel like I have been sitting and doing nothing for so long, but Labor Day was Monday, and today is only Wednesday.  I think it's from the 5 years at Wake doing everything and always having something to do- it's warped my sense of time.  I always feel like I have to be doing something and when my days are over around noon I'm left wondering what to do.  Today I caught up with an old (?) friend and then made some phone calls to jobs and set up meetings (which will happen next week).  That left me stilllllll wanting/needing something to do.  I had put Costco on my list of things to do because they have HUGE bags of boneless-skinless chicken breasts(and now that I'm back on restriction- I'll be eating a lot more of those) so I left the apartment on a little adventure...  before I got to Costco I found a Target and stopped in and got some "spin-pins"(super cool bobby pins that hold massive amounts of hair!)  it took me a few tries to get them to work, but once I figured them out it was GREAT! Costco came and went without anything exciting happening. Except cementing the fact: drivers here are absolutely HORRIBLE.

I am getting more and more settled with the team and practice.  Still working on my crazy feet.  I'm not sure if it's getting better or worse.. I keep thinking I'm doing better- and when I ask Ellyn (or anyone else in the weight room!) they all say I'm rocking on my heels. Gurr.  There were even videos taken of JUST MY FEET so I could see what I was doing.  Of course when I had someone video tape me.. not once, but twice.. my feet didn't move. Not helpful.

I'm not sure if it was before or after the recording I thought of the bright idea to tape my toes to the platform so I could hear/feel when I was rocking back. Still not the most helpful. Working on it.. always working. I did get better today. My over head squats (OHS) were quicker and tighter than usual.  Working on the speed of the squats and being able to 'bounce' out of the bottom of the lift.  It translates directly to snatch and is helping me build confidence when I get heaver weights over my head (while snatching) I will be able to stand up with them.

Sometimes it's hard for me to say "I got better today" (especially with the technique specific exercises/lifts) because there are things/positions/rhythms  I am still working on and haven't gotten down.  To me, it seems like keeping my foot FLAT on the floor would/could/should be an easy fix- and as Ellyn says, "Don't do that". Got it. Trying not to. But still doing it. ummm dilemma.  frustration. determination.  Having the other lifters around me is helpful in motivating me because I don't want to be left behind.  I don't want to be caught.  I don't want the other lifters to be able to do the same things I'm doing.  I look at the guys weights and think "one day i'll be doing that". But before I can get to those weights I've got to fix my technique. Annnnnd I probably need to be a little nicer and easier on myself.  I've been doing this for a year by myself and developed god knows how many bad habits, and I've been at TWO practices at Bridgewater and want everything to be fixed, now.  Good and bad things about that.  Good thing: I want to get better quickly. Bad thing: it takes time.  I have time, but I need to be purposeful with it.  Focus.  Where's my 120%?  What percentage of that is going to be put into beating myself up and what percentage of that is going to to put it into getting better.  It wasn't perfect today- but I'm working towards that, one practice, one exercise, one set, one rep at a time.  Each day is a chance to get better.  Tomorrow is another chance.

New Girl Jitters

First day of practice was this morning and I didn't sleep well last night. I was excited and nervous and it was raining. Okay. So, it was mostly the first two that kept me awake/waking up, but it was still raining. (and i knew you'd want to know that...)    SEE...!

"Liquid Sunshine"... aka rain. Go Deacs.

Since I was new (and will probably always claim to be new... sorry Ellyn.. but I think you knew that was coming), Ellyn and Lorie came to pick me and my bar up and take me to campus/Kelly(where we (Robinson Weightlifting)) works out.  I got a tour of the building- but will still probably get lost if I try to 1. get there by myself or 2. try and find anything except the training room and the locker room or 3. any combination of the first two.   ANYWAY... once i got acquainted with the space, it was time to get to work. Entering my purple room.. that's what Ellyn and I call the time/space/mental preparation I take (should be taking) before each workout. It's basically preparing myself for the task in front of me and preparing for practice like I would prepare for a meet.  It's all got to be the same. Train how I will perform.  Entered my purple room.  one shoe at a time. left first then right. moving up to my wrists. taping the left wrist then the right.  Thumbs are the last to be taped.  Left then right.  A few deep breaths then off to warm up. 

It was about this time I realized I had forgotten my water bottle at my apartment. Talk about a rookie mistake! I wanted to look like I had it all together so I didn't mention anything to anyone and kept running to the training room to grab some water from one of the sinks in there! What a goon!  I bet that wont happen again. And if it does no one will know ;-) 

Warming up is still a place I'm trying to get a normal/regular/fluid routine.  I still need help from Ellyn on this and she's there to tell me what to do next.. because "I'm new".  After warming up and being introduced to a few more teammates, it was time to start.  Today was a snatch day (the lift i need the most work on) and front squat day.  Another PR with front squats.. up 3kilos from Saturday.  After every practice Ellyn asks me if I've gotten better.  When she asked today I said I felt like I got better with my front squats (that was a no brainer...) and I wasn't totally sure about the rest of the workout.  It felt average.  With that being said I need to back up and talk a little bit more about snatching/snatch pulls/hang snatch etc....

With the snatch especially, I have started (or never stopped- not sure which) rocking back on my heels when I pull the weights off the ground.  What that means is I waste a lot of effort and energy rocking back to my heels (my toes and probably a good portion of the front of my foot comes off the floor as I'm pulling the weight to my hips. It also makes getting a good "clink" difficult and actually finishing the lift with heavier weights nearly impossible).  Being in the gym with someone besides myself was helpful.  When other athletes were lifting I was able to watch them, their feet, their hips, their shrugs, their finish and I was able to see what I was supposed to be doing.  Seeing them get the lift and the concept of the lift made me focus more on what I was doing and how I was doing it. I didn't want to be left behind when everyone started improving and getting better.  I wanted to get better with them...or  before them, and it wasn't happening.  Up the focus, attention, and purpose of what I was doing and the results got better.  The pulls were "clinking" more than before and the foot wiggling was still there, but I was doing it less- and I was able to feel when my toes came off the ground  So I guess I'd have to agree with Ellyn, yes I did get better today. Just found this quote that will apply to my time here in Bridgewater time and time again.... "Competing in sports has taught me that if I'm not willing to give 120 percent, somebody else will.” - Ron Blomburg.  There's no point in doing this half way.  I've got to give it everything I've got every day.

That brings me to my next 120%... dropping weight. 5 weeks until the next meet and I am 15-ish pounds over what I need/want/should be.  Hopefully this blog (along with Ellyn, the team, and living with another lifter) will help me stay accountable for making weight for the next meet.  More on that later ... 

Here are some pictures of where I will be 4+ days a week... it's small but a lot of work will get done 

That's it for now.  Another workout tomorrow morning at 9.  Another opportunity to get better.

New Apartment

Here's what the new place looks like.  Kat and I are mostly settled in- maybe looking for a couch/love seat to go under our windows... but we're going to give it a week or two and figure out if we need or want to take up that space. I'm leaning more towards putting something there because we only have 4 stools to sit in, in the whole apartment. We might need one or two more things in here! :)

My room and "window" on the left and Kat's on the left.  The windows open for ventilation because my room is the only one with AC...

This is another "vent" between our rooms... Basically it's a hole in-between our rooms that has slats.. but really it's a hole in our wall.  I joke with Kat that if we want to talk badly about each other we'd have to go outside to do that :)

This apartment is a lot smaller than the one I had in Winston, but we are making it work.  It's a good thing Kat didn't bring as much stuff as I did because we'd be in a heap.. literally.. of trouble!  Here are more pictures of the new place...  

 This is the inside of my room.. still have a mirror to put on my dresser and find a place to put all the random stuff (dvds, picture frames, tape, etc) that's still on there.  

 The inside of my room.. a touch of Deacon Pride 

My closet.. shoes, nail polish, and sunglasses... don't need much more! :)

Bathroom: pretty basic... 

Kitchen. Already have dirty dishes- and My MIXER is back out!! 

When I get more exciting things in the apartment I'll be sure to put them up! Pretty basic for right now. . . 

and first practice with the team tomorrow morning! I'm ready to be with a team and a coach. Waited almost a year to be in a lifting environment like this and now I'm going to take advantage of every opportunity I have to get better.  Everyone else has been training for a year with a coach and getting better- I've got a lot of time to make up and it all begins tomorrow morning.  More details after practice!! YAY! :D

Getting Settled and First Workouts

I am a few days behind with the blog and this is my second entry today (if I get it finished!).  After basically dropping my bags and boxes of furniture at the apartment and spending a few hours unpacking and trying to get the massive amounts of stuff I've accumulated organized and put away in my apartment, Kat (my roommate), my mom, and I went up to my coaches (Ellyn) beach house for a two days.  Ellyn is big into making the team feel, look, and operate like a family- so she invited the team up to her house for a Labor Day bbq (and lift!).  Kat, my mom and I went up to Ellyn's house Friday afternoon/evening and had a lift on the grass overlooking the ocean.  That workout we did Snatch pull and snatch (that's all i remember as of now!)  I enjoyed lifting outside and wish I would have taken pictures of where we were lifting and what kind of view we had!! It was AWESOME!

I loved, loved, loved having Ellyn right there to help, correct, and push me to get better!  When I would lift at Wake she would coach me via text message- and that was okay for while I was there- but it wasn't as good as having her see what I'm doing and being able to respond immediately.  I am very excited to see where Ellyn's coaching will take me!  I think we (Ellyn and I) work well together and will make dramatic and drastic improvements in a very short amount of time.  After our workout we had turkey burgers and vegetables.  I only ate the turkey burgers! :)  Once the eating was over we all played card games until 1am or so...

The next day Ellyn, Kat, and Lorie went for a run.. they asked me if I wanted to go and I politely said "no way!" I hung out at the house waiting for them to get back so I could lift.  This workout we had to clean and jerk up to 95% of our one rep max or PR and those were a little shaky.  I struggled with the mental preparation and set up for the lifts when the weights got heavier... even though the difference in preparation between 35kilos and 105kilos is (should be) nothing..still working on that.  When I got up to 95% I wasn't committed to each lift and it's not surprising I didn't make those lifts. Ellyn ended up taking some weight off so I would finish on a successful lift.  And I did. Missing a few of the lifts lit a fire under me and I was ready for the heavy front squats.  The front squat workout was 6 sets with reps of 3, 2, 1 climbing to a 1RM (one rep max.. same thing as a PR) and then starting back with 3, 2, 1 adding a little weight each time.  I ended up with a new front squat max of 120kilos which was a 5kilo PR!  When front squats were done we finished the workout with orangutan presses. Those were new to me (I had only done them once at Wake by myself) but I'll do my best explaining what they are.  You are down in a deep squat with the barbell on your shoulders, weight on full foot, hands wide in a snatch position, and back straight (not bent over or arched) and from that position, press up and straighten your elbows.  Success. :)   To complete the workout I rolled and stretched.  Then showered in the outdoor shower Ellyn has at her house. Kinda cool!!

Once the hard work was over my mom and I went to Bear Skin Neck and went to the nic-nac shops for a few hours while the boys lifted at Ellyn's house.  We got back as they were finishing their workout.  Watched the last few sets of Clean and Jerks and then Ellyn (? i think it was her)  started up the grill.  This time there were more people, teammates, friends, etc at dinner.  Dinner ended and a bonfire and card games began.  Pass the ace was played outside by campfire until everyone was out of money except Jooooohh (i think i got the spelling right! :)).  The games came inside and I introduced the team to NERTZ.  THEY LOVED IT!! here's a link on how to play nertz!! I was partnered with my mom and we beat up on the "new" kids two games in a row! :D  Ellyn took pictures (maybe some will end up on this page soon) of the intense battle faces everyone had.. it was pretty comical!  Games were over and it was past 1am and everyone was in their bed, and Joooohh was being ridiculous- kept throwing blankets, pillows on me, then taking my blanket and yelling.  It was a mess! but so hilarious!!  Although I'm new, I think I'll fit in just fine..