meet

It may be surprising to some of you that the decision to lift wasn't decided until the evening before I lifted.  Ellyn and I had been talking back and forth about whatd be best for me and what would be smartest (sometimes that's the harder one to do) when it came to the meet... I talked a little about my anxiety in deciding or not deciding what to do, from a physical aspect, but I also was wrestling more with the mental aspect of coming back.  I had the thoughts of success- with two definitions.. success that i previously knew which fell somewhere around 72k and 103k and what success would now look like... and was that success 50 and 60? was that success of competing? was that success just getting back on the platform? was that success something else all together? Before I lifted i couldn't be sure it was any of those things.. the success i had known before was not an option this meet.

I... and Ellyn.. talked about my mental shortcomings and the risk of ... my cereal.. or serial (depending on who's spelling it) killer moods and looks that would come if I couldn't deal with the results of my first meet back.  I like to win and i like to be good the best.. and i knew going into this meet that I wouldn't do either of those things. yikes. okay. how do i be okay and good at losing? um. i dont know if i can... but i have to.

Long story short (and maybe saving room for another blog about my meet.. hehe) I ended up lifting and I ended up being fine mentally and physically.  It was a different meet experience for sure, but it helped me get back in the competition mode and it helped me refocus and repurpose my lifting at practice.  I was working towards something that wasn't a distant memory or a long off and lofty goal, but meets that are coming up really quickly... 7 weeks until collegiates... and 3 or 4 weeks until the next local meet.  not a whole lot of time to waste and to not get better.. so I'm re-focused and re-motivated for the next adventure...

back to the meet.  It was a weird feeling for this meet.  I had to focus on my positions and one lift at a time. sometimes i felt a little silly getting ready to lift what I was lifting, but I told myself and made myself prepare like this was a meet where i was 100%.  I had the option to not pay attention to the weights and to just go through the motions like I had done so many times before- but i wanted to get better.  Ellyn has always said treat all the weights with respect.. treat 35 like 105... I think i did a pretty good job with that.  I was tempted to not give my full attention to the weights (even when I was on the platform) but i had practiced and had been practicing going through the same routine... again, i feel like i was successful with that.  I kept everything tight, close, and FAST.. woah. hadn't ever done that. here's a link if y'all are so interested :)  Atlantic States Meet  But there's a lot to improve on.  There's a lot more to do. and there's a bed i need to be sleeping in.  Until tomorrow. . .